Eva
and Natasha waved as their parents backed their car out of their driveway
before going back inside. The sisters sat down on the couch in the living room,
and as Eva reached for the remote to turn on the television, Natasha grabbed
her hand to stop her.
“Spill!”
“Where?”
Eva asked looking at the part of the couch where their clasped hands rested.
“No,
you said you’d tell me what you saw when you passed out on Mom’s birthday!”
“Oh,
yeah…” Eva whispered. She really didn’t want to have this conversation, but
figured it was going to come at some point. ‘I shouldn’t have told you about it. But I was still out of it, so…’
“Well?”
Natasha stared into Eva’s eyes with impatient determination, kind of freaking
Eva out.
“First
of all, stop looking at me like that.”
“Second?”
Eva
though for a minute. “There were…monsters…I guess. Everywhere. I mean, they
were human-looking, so I guess they were actually people at one point. But,
there was something wrong with them.”
“Like
what?”
“Well,
they looked like zombies. Straight out of those movies Benji like some much.
But they had wings. Bat wings. They were all just moving rocks, or getting
punished for not moving them fast enough.”
“Punished how? Like, they were whipped or something?”
“Punished how? Like, they were whipped or something?”
“Or
something… One of them was strangled until he stopped moving. And when he
started moving again, the leader, or whatever, through him into a huge hole in
the ground.”
“Holy, crap!” Natasha said, incredulous to the fact that this could actually happen.
“Holy, crap!” Natasha said, incredulous to the fact that this could actually happen.
“Yeah.
I never thought I’d see that guy again, but a few minutes later, while the
leader was talking to me, he just fell out of the sky and face-planted on to
the ground next to the hole.”
Natasha
let go of Eva’s hand and sat back. She felt a bit sick at the thought of
watching someone hit the ground after falling from a tall place. She wasn’t
sure she wanted to know everything, but she couldn’t help listening to it.
“The
leader told me that was what purgatory was like. He said it was more ‘hell in a
limbo, and nowhere near as hot’. And the people there sometimes would be killed
and brought back to life repeatedly just to amuse him.”
“Why
would purgatory be so messed up?” Natasha found herself nearly yelling. Eva
shushed her. She didn’t want Benji to wake up, much less hear what she was
saying to Natasha. He might tell their parents, who would probably send her
back to the psychiatric hospital. Eva definitely did not want to go back. To
her, that place was like prison: boring, and they decide when you leave.
“I
don’t know. It was weird watching him actually do those kinds of things to
prove a point. He set a girl on fire; told me she thought she was a witch when
she was alive. He crushed a guy with a rock. And then he had someone carve his
face off because he didn’t like looking at it.” Eva shivered. “That was the
worst part. As soon as it was done, the leader sent him back to work mopping up
blood and…other stuff.”
“I
don’t want to know ‘other stuff’ means. You can skip that part.”
“Okay.
After explaining what happened there, he got really sentimental on me. He said
he preferred if people like me wouldn’t show up there. I guess if you kill
yourself, no one really knows what to do with your soul because it wasn’t your
time to die. He said most of us haven’t proven we deserve to be in hell, and
that most of us are good people who felt like we couldn’t handle life. The
leader told me he sends as many of us back to…life. Or to heaven to see if we
can get in. That’s why I didn’t die. It wasn’t my time, yet.”
“And
you weren’t bad enough to go to hell?” Natasha said.
Eva
noticed the look on Natasha’s face. The one that said, ‘I’m calling bullshit’.
“What?
Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m
not saying I don’t believe you…” Natasha started, choosing her words carefully.
“But, that’s something I’d definitely have to see to be sure about it.”
“Why
did you even ask me about it?”
“Maybe
I was just expecting something else. Something less horrible. But regardless of
what happened, I’m glad you’re still here with us.” Natasha smiled at her
sister, and for once in a long time wasn’t reminded of songs about depression.
“I
am, too,” wearing her own bright smile felt great for once. She felt like no
one was judging her anymore. Like her family was finally comfortable around
her. Ever since her last suicide attempt, Eva had felt as if everyone,
particularly Natasha and Benji were judging her for being weak. She was glad to
know that wasn’t the case.
“Hey,
guys,” Benji said as he walked into the living room.
“’Sup?”
Natasha said, trying to be cool. “Isn’t that what the kids are saying these
days?”
Eva
and Benji laughed.
“Nope.
But nice try, sis.” Benji said pulling something from behind his back. “Uh…this
is for you, Eva. I drew it last night.”
Eva
took the piece of paper from her brother. “Thanks, bro.” She chuckled.
“You
better be glad you’re actually talented, Benji. I told Dad you were up all last
night drawing, when I’m ninety-five percent sure you were playing videogames. I
even told him about the thing you were drawing for him for his birthday.”
“Good
thing I actually drew something for his birthday,” Benji said as he walked
towards the kitchen. “Hey, Eva. If you need someone to talk to, you’ve got me.”
Without
waiting for her to answer, Benji disappeared in the kitchen, no doubt to forage
for food like a normal teenager does.
Eva
looked at the picture her brother drew, and she could swear her heart skipped a
beat. “No. Fucking. Way.”
“What?
Is it a family portrait, or something uncharacteristically adorable of him?”
Natasha asked trying to look over Eva’s shoulder.
Eve
turned towards Natasha and held up the picture.
“This
is him! It’s...it’s the leader.”
Natasha
looked at the very well-drawn picture. “That’s him?”
“Yes!”
“God,
he’s one ugly mofo.” Natasha said as she stood up. “I’m going to get something
to drink. Want someth--?”
Eva
and Natasha stared at each other in silence. Both were making an effort to
understand what was going on, and could see the gears turning in the other’s
head. Finally, Eva asked, “How does he know what the leader looks like?”
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